Procrastination
Seriously, it's amazing what you can put off if you've got the mind to do it. While I was in jail, I thought I could write it down with no problem. I thought I could just put it down in words right away, but I've been back for days now, and the most I've done is think about how to say it.

Let's go back to when I was with the Gaulagchs and how I got out of that situation. For months I'd guess I'd been sitting there, playing fetch naked as the day I was born, until one day in strides Danny in his full Han Solo gear. Went something like this...

"Hi," he said.
"Hi," I replied, somewhat dumbfounded.
"I'm Danny."
"May."
Awkward silence.
"You're human, right?" he asked.
"Yeah. Do you know where we are? It ain't Kansas, that's for sure."
"Actually, we're on the far side of the universe... and I've come to rescue you."
The only thing he was missing was the blaster.
"You and an army?"
"Well... you see..." He was blushing and actually playing with an invisible speck of dirt on his cuff.
"I'm not complaining... really. Let's go."
"Well, first I... we..." He took a deep breath.
"The reason the Gaulaughs can keep you here is you can't communicate with them. Humans are resistant to the translator microbes but I invented a new type that work with us. I just have to introduce them into..."
He trailed off again, this time finding a freckle on his left hand extremely fascinating.
"Okay. How's that work?"
"Well, the best way would be a blood transfusion, but we're not exactly set up for that. If I'd have had advanced warning I could have mixed up a new batch and just injected them into you. But as it is, there's only one option that will work fast enough."
"And that is?"
He coughed it out.
"Transfer of bodily fluids."
If I hadn't have seen the Gaulaugh's up close for the past few months and been sure that this was for real, I would have seriously thought this was some sort of scam... but his embarassment was real and I had a serious clue that what he was suggesting was not just based on a strange male trying to get into my absent panties.
"Sex."
"Yup."
So I had two options. I could refuse and spend the rest of my life playing naked fetch, or I could do the horizontal mambo with a complete, yet cute stranger.
"So let's do it."
- posted by omouse @ 4/26/2004